Male Stupidity

"So how much more is this expensive trip going to cost me besides the flights, taxis, and the room cost?"

"Sweetie, it's all-inclusive. Outside of tipping the taxi drivers/waiters/bartenders, parking at the airport, and your souvenir money, it's all paid for. So, in other words, not much more than $50 and souvenir money because I'll split the tipping with you."

"So how much more is food going to cost?"

"Already been paid for."

"Alcohol?"

"Yes you giant dork! All-inclusive means everything besides tips and souvenir money has been paid for. How many times have I told you this?"

"Oh. Sweet."

After all the craziness of getting this trip saved for, planned, and now booked, dear boyfriend still has yet to figure out all-inclusive means food and drinks included despite me telling him this repeatedly. Guys are dumb. You think my opening line a year ago of "Free unlimited booze for a week" would've had him.

*Disclaimer, we will actually tip more than $100 while we are gone. He just doesn't know it yet and I've learned if he's bitching about $$, pretend it costs less*

Aruba, Jamaica, oooo I Want to Take You

For over a year now, dear boyfriend and I have been loosely planning a trip this summer. First, we were going to go to Mexico in the first part of June because it's way cheap. It's the off-season and while it is technically hurricane season, it's so early, the odds of us having our trip ruined are slim. But then even the Cancun area has exploded in drug violence, so we decided not to go. I had looked into other Caribbean all-inclusive resorts, but they were way out of our price range. All-inclusive is the way to go for beach vacations because literally, outside of souvenirs, you know exactly what you are going to spend on the entire trip. Food, drinks, alcohol, it's all paid for. (It comes in handy when you've had one too many tequila shots and just have trouble finding your room key, let alone remembering to close your tab in a foreign country). So I had mentally decided that I was not going to get my vacation this summer after all.

Then, one snowy day a few weeks ago, I was looking at all-inclusive Caribbean vacations dreaming of warmth and as many alcoholic beverages I can get with umbrellas in them. I noticed that prices were extremely down. Like, we could go to an island down there and stay at a low rent all-inclusive. I had heard trip prices were down, but I thought they weren't the all-inclusive vacations. We then discussed it and after me threatening to go *by myself without him since we had planned a trip for over a year*, he agreed to go.

So I spent a few weeks looking at different places and had pretty much settled on a low-rent place in the Dominican Republic. Dear boyfriend mentioned to a few of his buddies and their fathers over sports related hangout times that we were taking a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean. One of the rich, very well travelled fathers, said Aruba was by far one of nicest islands in the Caribbean. I was open to it, but it priced out of our range.

Dear boyfriend had asked me to hold off on booking the trip for a few weeks, so I did. Yesterday, he called me, told me he trusted me, and instructed me to book the trip without him. He couldn't come over because it was FREAKING SNOWING IN APRIL here. Looking at prices again, I saw that things had dropped even further. We could now afford on our very very modest budget to stay at upscale all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic and Aruba.

Last night, I booked our trip to ARUBA at a freaking 4 star resort. Take that Mother Nature and your April snow storms! I eventually will be as tan and drunk as can be in a warm climate. Oh, and did I mention I'm taking my very hot boyfriend with me?