Accountability

I'm one of those *freaks of nature* who can pretty much eat what they want, when they want and seemingly never gain weight. Granted, if I'm not hungry, I don't eat. But a good chunk of the time when I do eat, I eat crap. And if I'm stressed for any length of time? Yeah, lets just say I can drop weight like nobody's business. A year and a half ago, things were not good in my life and I was in a really bad place. I had size two pants falling off of me, even with a belt. I've been blessed so far by not having a need to workout because let's be honest. Working out blows donkey balls.

I used to be one of those uber-athletes that lettered in basketball and softball in high school, but then I stopped working out. The girls I played sports with were my close friends and practicing/off season workouts was yet another chance I had to hangout with my friends. When I went away to college, I lost this tight knit group of workout buddies that used to motivate me to get up off my ass. I also lost about 20 pounds not even trying and everyone complemented me on how I looked. I never was fat before, I wore a size 5-6 in high school. I thought "Why mess with something that's working?" I'm sure a good portion of those 20 pounds was loss of muscle since I was no longer seriously lifting weights 3 days a week. Also, now looking back, I realize I was unhappy about things in my life. I was out on my own for the first time, I had gone through some pretty major life changes, I was stressed to keep my grades up, and I was in a stressful long-distance relationship with a boyfriend from back home. Simple for me. Stressed & depressed = major weight loss.

Needless to say, I eventually got back to a healthy but still skinny weight and kept it that way by walking everywhere on campus. I went to a large Big 10 University, so I had the opportunity to walk long distances everywhere. I don't mind walking, in fact, I enjoy it. I did put on maybe five pounds after I graduated, but all of my clothes still fit me just darn fine, so I didn't really care.

Then I got myself into a bad place again about 18 months ago. I was in a terrible relationship with yet another stupid guy, I was stressed about my job, stressed about my master's degree, family issues were stressing me out and I never saw myself being able to afford to truly live on my own without giving up things like cable T.V. Anyways, my grandfather passed away about the same time I got dumped by my ex-boyfriend. During the breakup, things got really really ugly and I just didn't know which way was up and which way was down. My weight plummetted. During my grandfather's funeral about 3 weeks later, I had a hard time keeping up my brand-new size two pants with a belt on it's tightest loop.

(Luckily I had a good friend who made sure I got out of the house and was really there for me. During one of those nights of being drug out, I ended up hanging out with dear boyfriend. That's where it all began.)

Flash forward to the present. About a month ago, dear boyfriend and I were at my parent's house. My sister was making fun of me as usual about how I have zero muscle. Dear boyfriend chimed in and commented that I was like an ameoba and had lunch lady arms. It was all good-natured teasing, but I decided that maybe if I tried a few home workout videos, I could get them to stop teasing me.

I started doing the Biggest Loser Yoga, Biggest Loser Bootcamp, and the 30 Day Shred. I know my size twos fit me just damn fine, and I don't need to lose weight. I just need to tone. The reason I picked these videos? Totally thought that since they were for people overweight and out of shape, they would be easier to start with since I'm way out of shape. They have kicked my ass from here to the moon in less than 45 minutes. Jillian? Kicks my ass in 20.

Last week was a bad week for me and I didn't make fitting in a 20 minute workout into my day at all. I wasn't motivated. Luckily, dear boyfriend came to the rescue again. He doesn't know it and never will so it doesn't go to his already big head. He's always been one of those that goes to the gym just to keep his weight from getting out of control. About 3 weeks ago, dear boyfriend saw the infomerical for that p90x system and started doing that to change things up. I can see the difference in him already and he keeps bragging about how good he's going to look when we get to Aruba. I can't have him looking better than me. We can both look good together. So rather than tell him about my sadistic goal, I'm confessing it here. I will hold myself accountable here to look hot on that beach in my bikini.

I've been doing this about a month now. I went from not being able to do 3 girl-style push ups to 5 actual push ups and 20 girl-style pushups in 30 seconds. Dear boyfriend now checks at least once a week to see my "growing abdominals" like they're a little baby in there. I think I have a shot to be one smokin babe on the beach.

(If I ever find my cord that goes from my camera to my laptop, I will post the before pictures. After ones will come in June.)