Pork Chop Flu

So, the H1N1/Swineflu/PorkChopFlu/MassHysteriaforNOREASON has hit my town, prompting our schools to be shut down. Best part? They won't let anyone in the buildings which means I can't feel guilty for not going in and getting work done. Luckily, we only have to make up 2 of any days we miss thanks to snow and cold days this past winter. Meantime, I'm getting plenty of rest and killing all germs with large amounts of beer, rum, and tequila. And from the looks of randomly going out to a bar in the next town last night, plenty of my fellow colleagues are doing the same thing.

When I'm not spending all of my disposable do-re-mi on booze, I'm planning on reading and working out. I finally bought weights a few weeks ago so I was able to finally eat the large can of baked beans and jar of pasta sauce I had been using as weights. I had to go back down to level one on my workout dvds because my arms just could not do levels one and two with the weights. I'm planning on going back up to level two mid-week after my two week vacation back at level one. Dear boyfriend just got a text asking why the hell I was killing myself again for no reason? We'll see what he comes back with. I'm guessing it's going to be either "Aruba Baby" or "Cuz you look hot with your new muscles." All I know is my pants no longer fit because my legs now have muscles. Who knew working out would cause me to go from a size two to a size four? That's pissin me off because I have a closet and a half full of size twos and I don't really want to have to replace them!

In other news, it's my Mom's birthday this weekend. My Dad is taking my Mom, dear boyfriend, and I out to dinner tonight to celebrate it AND he's buying pizza, beer, and cake tomorrow night on her actual birthday. I've got to figure out something to get her this weekend and next weekend for Mother's Day. Mom won't let us buy her one big gift to cover both events. I'm thinking a small pot of flowers for one and begging for forgiveness for the other one.

Golden Apples and Mustaches

A good friend of mine at work recently won the Golden Apple award. This is a big award in the teaching field. This friend of mine is a fantastic teacher and completely deserves to be honored in such a public fashion. She was told of her being a recipient of the award on live TV a month ago, given a segment on the news last Friday night, and received quite a bit of do-re-mi to use in her classroom and towards professional development.

This award was to be presented to her officially at a black tie, formal banquet that was held this past Friday. So, I got to get all gussied up in one of my sister's old homecoming dresses and went out with my best girlfriends from work. I wore a strapless, dark purple dress with the bottom outer layers cut at an angle and frilly. (I don't know how else to describe it). I forgot how much fun it was to get dressed up! My lovely dates were two other girl coworkers, one who is single and the other couldn't convince her husband to come out. The three of us had such a blast sitting there, making fun of other people. Seriously, one woman showed up in a dress that looked like she belonged to a polygamy compound.

I didn't make dear boyfriend come with me because the next day was the NFL draft day. Dear boyfriend has a tradition with his friends that they all grow mustaches in honor of "Da Coach", drink shitty 40 oz beers, watch the draft, and act like drunken idiots at dear boyfriends house. He grows a beard every year because he seriously looks like a pedophile when he wears just a mustache. Last year, dear boyfriend shaved his beard down to his mustache a full two days before draft day just to get a kick out of random people look at him weird. I was not about to show up to this very nice black tie event hauling Chester the Molester with me! By doing this, I got a nice evening out with the girls, got to skip helping dear boyfriend clean his house, and got to laugh at every text message dear boyfriend sent me while he was cleaning. He hates cleaning and does whatever he can to get out of it.

Unfortunately, the next day, I came down with the stomach bug that's been going around. So I've spent my weekend lying down on my couch in between the sprints to the bathroom.

Anti-amoeba update

I've got a new plan of attack on the workout. Weekends, when I have more time, will be spent on the longer workouts. During the week, on non-yoga days with the boyfriend, will be spent having my ass kicked by Jillian. I've been doing this for the past 3 weeks or so. It's been working well enough that I can see some baby muscles starting and I don't want to die after each level 1 workout.

I also stepped it up to level 2 and now I want to die. If I'm not around posting and commenting, it's because I've died on the floor of my apartment working out. Only I'm dumb enough to buy actual 5 pound weights to use the day I step it up to level 2. (I had been using giant cans of baked beans/pasta sauce).

Next Life

In my next life, I am going to come back as a bigwig TV executive in charge of programming. My job will be to make sure there is at least always one good TV show on a night. Right now, Wednesday night TV blows. And they wonder why ad revenue is down?

So instead of sitting on my ass, I'm going to have it kicked by Jillian and then curl up in bed early with a book.

Accountability

I'm one of those *freaks of nature* who can pretty much eat what they want, when they want and seemingly never gain weight. Granted, if I'm not hungry, I don't eat. But a good chunk of the time when I do eat, I eat crap. And if I'm stressed for any length of time? Yeah, lets just say I can drop weight like nobody's business. A year and a half ago, things were not good in my life and I was in a really bad place. I had size two pants falling off of me, even with a belt. I've been blessed so far by not having a need to workout because let's be honest. Working out blows donkey balls.

I used to be one of those uber-athletes that lettered in basketball and softball in high school, but then I stopped working out. The girls I played sports with were my close friends and practicing/off season workouts was yet another chance I had to hangout with my friends. When I went away to college, I lost this tight knit group of workout buddies that used to motivate me to get up off my ass. I also lost about 20 pounds not even trying and everyone complemented me on how I looked. I never was fat before, I wore a size 5-6 in high school. I thought "Why mess with something that's working?" I'm sure a good portion of those 20 pounds was loss of muscle since I was no longer seriously lifting weights 3 days a week. Also, now looking back, I realize I was unhappy about things in my life. I was out on my own for the first time, I had gone through some pretty major life changes, I was stressed to keep my grades up, and I was in a stressful long-distance relationship with a boyfriend from back home. Simple for me. Stressed & depressed = major weight loss.

Needless to say, I eventually got back to a healthy but still skinny weight and kept it that way by walking everywhere on campus. I went to a large Big 10 University, so I had the opportunity to walk long distances everywhere. I don't mind walking, in fact, I enjoy it. I did put on maybe five pounds after I graduated, but all of my clothes still fit me just darn fine, so I didn't really care.

Then I got myself into a bad place again about 18 months ago. I was in a terrible relationship with yet another stupid guy, I was stressed about my job, stressed about my master's degree, family issues were stressing me out and I never saw myself being able to afford to truly live on my own without giving up things like cable T.V. Anyways, my grandfather passed away about the same time I got dumped by my ex-boyfriend. During the breakup, things got really really ugly and I just didn't know which way was up and which way was down. My weight plummetted. During my grandfather's funeral about 3 weeks later, I had a hard time keeping up my brand-new size two pants with a belt on it's tightest loop.

(Luckily I had a good friend who made sure I got out of the house and was really there for me. During one of those nights of being drug out, I ended up hanging out with dear boyfriend. That's where it all began.)

Flash forward to the present. About a month ago, dear boyfriend and I were at my parent's house. My sister was making fun of me as usual about how I have zero muscle. Dear boyfriend chimed in and commented that I was like an ameoba and had lunch lady arms. It was all good-natured teasing, but I decided that maybe if I tried a few home workout videos, I could get them to stop teasing me.

I started doing the Biggest Loser Yoga, Biggest Loser Bootcamp, and the 30 Day Shred. I know my size twos fit me just damn fine, and I don't need to lose weight. I just need to tone. The reason I picked these videos? Totally thought that since they were for people overweight and out of shape, they would be easier to start with since I'm way out of shape. They have kicked my ass from here to the moon in less than 45 minutes. Jillian? Kicks my ass in 20.

Last week was a bad week for me and I didn't make fitting in a 20 minute workout into my day at all. I wasn't motivated. Luckily, dear boyfriend came to the rescue again. He doesn't know it and never will so it doesn't go to his already big head. He's always been one of those that goes to the gym just to keep his weight from getting out of control. About 3 weeks ago, dear boyfriend saw the infomerical for that p90x system and started doing that to change things up. I can see the difference in him already and he keeps bragging about how good he's going to look when we get to Aruba. I can't have him looking better than me. We can both look good together. So rather than tell him about my sadistic goal, I'm confessing it here. I will hold myself accountable here to look hot on that beach in my bikini.

I've been doing this about a month now. I went from not being able to do 3 girl-style push ups to 5 actual push ups and 20 girl-style pushups in 30 seconds. Dear boyfriend now checks at least once a week to see my "growing abdominals" like they're a little baby in there. I think I have a shot to be one smokin babe on the beach.

(If I ever find my cord that goes from my camera to my laptop, I will post the before pictures. After ones will come in June.)

Male Stupidity

"So how much more is this expensive trip going to cost me besides the flights, taxis, and the room cost?"

"Sweetie, it's all-inclusive. Outside of tipping the taxi drivers/waiters/bartenders, parking at the airport, and your souvenir money, it's all paid for. So, in other words, not much more than $50 and souvenir money because I'll split the tipping with you."

"So how much more is food going to cost?"

"Already been paid for."

"Alcohol?"

"Yes you giant dork! All-inclusive means everything besides tips and souvenir money has been paid for. How many times have I told you this?"

"Oh. Sweet."

After all the craziness of getting this trip saved for, planned, and now booked, dear boyfriend still has yet to figure out all-inclusive means food and drinks included despite me telling him this repeatedly. Guys are dumb. You think my opening line a year ago of "Free unlimited booze for a week" would've had him.

*Disclaimer, we will actually tip more than $100 while we are gone. He just doesn't know it yet and I've learned if he's bitching about $$, pretend it costs less*

Aruba, Jamaica, oooo I Want to Take You

For over a year now, dear boyfriend and I have been loosely planning a trip this summer. First, we were going to go to Mexico in the first part of June because it's way cheap. It's the off-season and while it is technically hurricane season, it's so early, the odds of us having our trip ruined are slim. But then even the Cancun area has exploded in drug violence, so we decided not to go. I had looked into other Caribbean all-inclusive resorts, but they were way out of our price range. All-inclusive is the way to go for beach vacations because literally, outside of souvenirs, you know exactly what you are going to spend on the entire trip. Food, drinks, alcohol, it's all paid for. (It comes in handy when you've had one too many tequila shots and just have trouble finding your room key, let alone remembering to close your tab in a foreign country). So I had mentally decided that I was not going to get my vacation this summer after all.

Then, one snowy day a few weeks ago, I was looking at all-inclusive Caribbean vacations dreaming of warmth and as many alcoholic beverages I can get with umbrellas in them. I noticed that prices were extremely down. Like, we could go to an island down there and stay at a low rent all-inclusive. I had heard trip prices were down, but I thought they weren't the all-inclusive vacations. We then discussed it and after me threatening to go *by myself without him since we had planned a trip for over a year*, he agreed to go.

So I spent a few weeks looking at different places and had pretty much settled on a low-rent place in the Dominican Republic. Dear boyfriend mentioned to a few of his buddies and their fathers over sports related hangout times that we were taking a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean. One of the rich, very well travelled fathers, said Aruba was by far one of nicest islands in the Caribbean. I was open to it, but it priced out of our range.

Dear boyfriend had asked me to hold off on booking the trip for a few weeks, so I did. Yesterday, he called me, told me he trusted me, and instructed me to book the trip without him. He couldn't come over because it was FREAKING SNOWING IN APRIL here. Looking at prices again, I saw that things had dropped even further. We could now afford on our very very modest budget to stay at upscale all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic and Aruba.

Last night, I booked our trip to ARUBA at a freaking 4 star resort. Take that Mother Nature and your April snow storms! I eventually will be as tan and drunk as can be in a warm climate. Oh, and did I mention I'm taking my very hot boyfriend with me?

Why?

Going back to work this week has been tough. I'm trying my best to not get Dooced here, but I'm not going to lie, this week has been AWFUL.

Monday morning, I'm in a classroom, on the phone, when I hear sobbing outside the door. I think nothing of it, because I teach middle school and parents are always hauling their kids in the next school day after report cards come out to clean out their lockers. These kids are always getting hollered at and it usually leads to crying. A dear friend of mine, comes in and asks if I knew that one of our students had passed away this weekend. I knew nothing of it. Apparently, the deceased student's parents came in first thing Monday morning to clean out her locker and dear friend was in the hallway when they came down with the counselor. We knew the student hadn't been sick with anything, and quickly racked our brains about any car accidents that had happened this past week(end).

Long story short, there was a car accident. The student of mine was in the backseat without a seatbelt on (everyone else, including the little ones were buckled up in car seats so the student was probably being an 11 year old rebellious child). The driver hit a patch of black ice, spun, then flipped into a ditch. Everyone else but the student walked away without a scratch on them.

Like I said, this week has been awful. It's been tough walking past her locker, helping students grieve, and establishing a collection the kids can make as a memorial. It just makes me think, why this student? This student was an average, good, sweet natured kid. Suddenly, I feel guilty as hell for giving the student a 10 minute lunch detention last fall for the student constantly wanting to talk to a friend during instruction. I know I'm hugging my loved ones closer and not sweating any small stuff, but it's still rough, ya know? It was a KID. I can't imagine what the student's mother is going through right now. What if the mother and the kid had gotten into a minor parent/child spat just before getting into the car and that's why the kid was not wearing a seatbelt? What if the kid had taken off the seatbelt to get something one of the younger siblings had dropped and then failed to put it back on? What if I had mentioned in class how important it is to wear seatbelts at all times? I have a million what ifs running through my head and all I can do is cry.

I went over to the family's house with a colleague after school to deliver food and drop off sympathy cards the kids had made. The student's bedroom was off the kitchen and the door was open. I couldn't help glancing in, and I noticed there was an unmade bed with a stack of clean laundry on it. I lost it looking at that. This poor kid left, with their family, being a typical middle school kid, leaving a stack of clean clothes on top of an unmade bed thinking the student could put them away after they got home.

I keep coming back to one question. Why?

Random Thoughts From My Week Alone

Holy crap, where did my week go? I got almost everything accomplished on my checklist except get my hair cut. That got postponed until next Monday because the hairdresser's mother in law had a stroke out of state. Instead, I replaced it with a 3 hour trip to the DMV to get my address changed on my license. Boy, if you want to feel good about yourself, go spend some time at your local DMV. Between all the douchebaggy high school kids, the senior citizens with canes and hearing aides, and white trash people, you should leave there feeling lucky. Feeling lucky, you say? Why? 1) You aren't in high school, you aren't dressed like an idiot, and you don't act like you are from The Hills, 2) You feel lucky that you are young enough still that you do not have to have the need of a cane or hearing aide, and 3) You just generally aren't white trash.

My sister was home this week on spring break and it was quite nice to be able to spend some time with her. She and I have a relationship where we are close, yet we end up fighting most of the time. I'm proud to report there was zero fighting this week. We went to IKEA together with my Mom, she helped me hang pictures, and she went curtain shopping with me this week.

I finally got curtains up! My apartment has tons of windows for it's shoebox size (I had to buy 10 panels for a studio apartment). I haven't slept in almost a month. I live on a semi-busy street now and there are quite a few cars that drive by all night long. Additionally, there is a mini-strip mall across the street and semi-trucks full of supplies show up early Monday through Saturday. On top of the noise, there are about 3 street lights that manage to shine right into my apartment and create a spotlight on my bed. Dear boyfriend ends up sleeping with a pillow over his face. I ended up buying those thermal lined, black out, noise reducing curtains. They work! It can be a sunny day out and if all the curtains are drawn, I have to turn on a light to read a book. I'm hoping since the windows are ancient that the thermal, energy efficient part of them will kick in and lower my heating/cooling bills. I'm hoping to take some pictures of it as soon as I find my camera.

The boyfriend comes back from his spring break trip to Colorado tomorrow. He has been sending random pictures of the scenery there all week, trying to convince me to eventually move there with him. I keep telling him no because they just had a blizzard there this week. I also keep reminding him I don't do cold weather very well and I don't like to do things outside in the cold. I am also blaming him for bringing back the snow with him. It hasn't snowed here in over a month, yet the day he comes back from skiing, we're supposed to get 8 freakin inches of snow. Mother Nature, need I remind you that Wednesday is APRIL FIRST?!?

Side note, Memphis screwed me in the tournament last night. I was in 3rd place in my pool (out of 58 people I might add) and was in great shape to win the whole damn thing. I really could have used the $450. Stupid Memphis.

Spring Break

I'm on spring break this week and looking forward to it. I plan on doing NOTHING related to work over this break.

My goals to accomplish this week:

• hang curtains in the apartment
• keep up my new workout motivation
• go to IKEA
• finish unpacking
• watch chick flicks since the boyfriend is out of town
• return things I've purchased that won't work in the new apartment
• get my hair cut
• go to my girl doctor's appt. (ugh).
• sit on my butt

Girls Rule

I'm not your typical girl. I love watching basketball, especially college basketball. I played varsity basketball in high school and it was in high school that I got suckered into filling out my first bracket for a dollar. I came in 2nd place out of a group of 43 boys. I was the only girl. After that year, I ran my own pool for a couple of tournaments. A few years later when I was a brokeass college student, my Dad fronted the money for a pool at his place of employment and I picked the teams. He promised to split the moolah with me 50-50. We each won $300.

Dearest boyfriend and I have always had a good-natured competitive spirit. For example, he loves watching college football (he's a football coach---for awhile, a defensive coordinator at a local college). During the Saturday night game-of-the week-special-games, we would bet on who was going to be the winner of the game. No money involved. Generally, it involved favors, like doing the dishes or even occasionally bragging rights. If a random game is on, we might place a friendly wager like that.

Fast forward to today. My dearest boyfriend's brother-in-law runs a huge pool. For shits and giggles, I filled out a bracket and persuaded dearest boyfriend to pay my $10 entry fee. Guess who is tied for 2nd place out of like 70 people? Guess who is not only losing to his girlfriend, but also his mother? Sucker!

Temperature Tricks

I'm one of those people that is generally always cold. I'm usually the one in a hoodie running my errands on a 70 degree day. Anything below 80 degrees is "chilly" to me. Needless to say, living in the Midwest, I always spend my winters bundled up like the Nanook of the North.

This weekend, it was one of the first days of early spring in which the temperature got above 50 degrees. Guess who was running her errands around town and went for a long walk with the boyfriend in a t-shirt and just a light fleece? It felt like summer. Fan-freakin-tastic.

New Digs

So. I disappeared. Long story. But I'm back now. Between the finishing up classes and my action research paper for my master's degree and the not living anywhere with internet, I didn't get a chance to blog.

Anyways, I just recently moved into a studio apartment. It's at a price I can afford, save money, and still be able to go out and have a good time. I'm kind of scared about living on my own, but then again, this has always been a goal of mine: to be able to stand on my own two feet and support myself. It's all mine and I couldn't be more excited.

I spent my first weekend here cleaning everything. It's a studio apartment attached to a 3 bedroom ancient house. Even though the landlord had the carpets cleaned and repainted the place for me, I still needed to clean. It's just something about me. I'm not one of those people who cleans obsessively, yet I'm not a total slob. I just like living in my own dirt. It took the entire weekend to clean here. (Did I mention the previous tenent was a stripper? Totally found one of her blue fake fingernails behind the pedestal sink when I mopped. GROSS.)

I've sunk some into my savings and my tax return to set up my new place. I had a bed, dressers, and dishes from the college days. However, in the past two weeks, I've been a one woman economic stimulus plan. Seriously. In the past two weeks, I've had to buy a TV, couch, chair, table, and a TV stand. Oh, not to mention curtains and bathroom things like towels. Outside of the couch, chair, and table, I bought everything at my local friendly big boxish discount stores. Even the table I bought on clearance.

Everytime I walked into a store, I was constantly harrassed by at least one, if not two or three salespeople. I needed to buy a couch and when I walked into one furniture store, a saleswoman practically begged me to purchase a couch through her and not any of the other sales associates because they worked 100% off of commission. Her husband has been laid off for months and they have 6 children. It just so happened that the couch I liked the best in my budget was from her store. So, the sucker that I am, I bought the couch from her. However, karma bites in the ass. I bought it a week ago, paid to have it delivered, and I'm still sitting on borrowed lawn chairs. I look like white trash. I have this nice new TV and I'm sitting on freaking lawn chairs in a tiny apartment to watch it. Yeah, I'm looking like total white trash. Klassy with a K as I say.